Sacrifices
by StarfireRocks
Summary: Reid wants to trade himself for Maeve, but Diane keeps both of them. Spencer would willingly sacrifice anything and everything for the woman he's come to love. (Pretty much the same set up as the show, up until Spencer goes into the building for the trade. That's when I made my changes.) Two Parter.
1. Chapter 1

**Yup. A Criminal Minds fanfic. I couldn't help it.**

**See, I watched 'Zugzwang' in January, and I was very disappointed when Maeve. . . you know. Died. But it wasn't until a few days ago that it actually hit me. How unfair to kill her off! Like Reid hasn't been through enough!**

**WARNING: I am about to go into a rant. If you do not want to read, then skip to the story. I just have to vent right now.**

**RANT: Why kill Maeve?! If the writers wanted to show that they can't save everybody, they did that with Haley! And all the other victims - and sometimes UnSub - that they couldn't save. But no, Reid can't be happy. He hasn't been through enough, or anything, what with Hotch beating him up, getting Anthrax, getting shot, being on fire, getting really bad headaches, thinking Prentiss died, having a schizophrenic mother, being bullied at school, having Gideon leave like his father, getting kidnapped, getting forced to play Russian roulette and choosing people to die, being made to dig his own grave, and being addicted to drugs! Nah, let's just kill off the woman he loves too. Jeesh. Harsh, much?**

**Okay, I'm done. Enjoy the story. If you can. . . muhahahaha! Just a warning, this deviates from the show. I changed parts. Major parts. Hehe.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything recognizable. I don't even own some of the lines the characters say. Honest. I don't own. Please don't sue!**

It's a strange thing, knowing I willingly chose to be in this situation. Not that I regret it. It hasn't quite worked out like I wanted, but I had meant it when I wrote that message.

_Me for her._

Though I'm blindfolded, I can tell when we enter the room where Maeve is. I'm not sure how I know. It's not like she calls out or anything. I just _know_. I can sense it, as weird as that sounds.

Diane pulls me forward before plunking me in a chair. It's only then that it strikes me. Maeve is sitting right across from me. The woman I've been talking to over payphones for the past ten months - the one I've been impatient to _finally _see face-to-face is here, in the very same room as me. And I can't even see her. It's cruel, in the worst way. I _need _to see her. I need this blindfold off so I can finally lay eyes on the woman I've come to love. It takes all my willpower to remain still and calm enough to reason with Diane.

When she tells me to say I don't love Maeve, it really does tear me up inside. But at last, Diane rips off the blindfold. Somehow, it makes it easier, despite the fact that I now have to say it to her face.

But then Maeve meets my eyes. For a brief moment I'm made speechless by how blue and beautiful they are. They convey everything we can't say out loud to each other and even as I utter that I don't love her and that I'm sorry, I see the flicker of understanding in her crystal clear eyes.

* * *

Morgan was pacing restlessly, a coiled wire of nerves and energy. His hand kept straying to his gun, only for him to jerk it away again a second later. He kept darting anxious looks at the building, mentally counting down the amount of time Reid's been in there. Too long. It's been too long. With a frustrated growl, Morgan stops in front of Hotch and Blake.

"Hotch, he's been in there for ages. We shouldn't have let him go in alone," he insists, shifting his weight from foot to foot. "We have to go in after him!"

The Unit Chief raised a hand in a calming gesture. "Morgan, I understand you're worried. I'm not happy about it either. But we have to trust Reid with this," he says, keeping his tone low and level.

"Aaron's right," Rossi interjects before Morgan can protest. "If anyone can diffuse the situation before it gets out of hand, it's Reid. As soon as we get a signal that something's gone wrong, we'll go in. But we have to believe Reid can do this."

Clearly not happy, but resigned to listening to what they say, Morgan spins around and resumes pacing.

* * *

It's getting out of hand. I made a mistake. I should've reacted better when Diane kissed me, but she caught me by surprise. If I don't act, this will go very bad, very fast. In a split second decision, I jump up and begin wrestling her for the gun. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I'm aware that this could be a bad idea. But there's no other option.

As Diane pulls the gun out of my flimsy grasp, she makes it possible for me to shove my elbow into the side of her head. She goes to the floor, and I don't bother to check whether she's conscious before hastily making my way over to Maeve.

I fumble with her bonds and decide to just rip them off. I apologize breathlessly, but she simply stands and grabs my wrist, beginning to pull me behind her as she makes her way across the room.

We both freeze when we hear the _click! _of the safety of a gun.

* * *

"JJ, we have to go in there," Morgan hisses under his breath. "Reid shouldn't have taken so long. It's been twenty minutes already. Who knows what could be happening?"

JJ shakes her head, but her eyes hold an underlying look of unease. "We would've heard the sound of a gunshot," she reminds him, "and we haven't heard anything yet."

Morgan exhales loudly, running a hand over his head irritably. "I know that, but that doesn't mean nothing's happened. What if she had another weapon? Or used another way to kill - " He stops, snapping his mouth shut. He scrunches his eyes shut and breathes deeply. "I'm just worried," he says quietly.

"I know," JJ whispers, lying a hand on his forearm. "We all are. But we have to trust that Spence knows what he's doing. I bet you that right now, he's using that genius brain of his to work out a way to get both him and Maeve out of this." She gave him a soft smile.

When Morgan looks up at her, it's with tortured eyes. "But JJ, I made Reid a promise. I told him that we'd save her and that he'd get the girl. What if - What if I can't keep my promise?"

* * *

I carefully move Maeve behind me as we turn to face Diane. Her eyes are shining brightly and her grip on the gun is shaky. Maeve moves a hand to my shoulder and digs her fingers into the fabric of my shirt as I feel her tense behind me. Her front is pressed into my back, and I feel her breath on the nape of my neck.

"Diane," I say, raising my hands in a calming manner. "Diane, listen to me. You don't want to kill Maeve. You've already killed Bobby. You've taken everything away from her. If you kill her, she won't have to live with the knowledge that she's inferior to you. Isn't that what you want? For her to know that you have the ability to take her life away from her?"

Diane wavers, the gun slipping down a little bit. I take this as a good sign. "If you let her go," I continue, "she'll have to rebuild her life, _knowing _that you destroyed her last one. _Knowing _that you're better than her."

"And what of you?" Diane suddenly demands, her grip on the gun tightening. "Do I get to take _you _from her?"

Maeve's hand on my shoulder clenches more, her fingers now beginning to hurt. "_Spencer_," she whispers in my ear. "_Spencer, don't._"

But I ignore her. I hesitate for just a second; long enough to see the manic glint in Diane's eyes, and her slowly tightening finger on the trigger.

"Yes," I say finally. "Yes, you can take me from her. Just let Maeve live. Let her live with what you've done."

Diane had started crying long ago, and her mascara was running down her cheeks, staining them black. "You would do that?" she cried. "You would kill yourself, for _her_?"

I swallow nervously. "Yes," I confess truthfully. "I would."

I would willingly sacrifice anything and everything for the woman I've come to love.

Diane pulls the trigger.

**Ha. Yeah. I'm really that cruel. Wanna know something worse? I'm not updating till tomorrow. Ha. I know. Mean. Kinda short, but the next chapter's shorter. It WAS gonna be a one-shot, but I decided to leave you on a cliff hanger. Oh yeah, this is a 2 Parter, so you won't have to worry about a cliff hanger next chapter. Or will you? Cue scary violin music. **

**Anyway, leave a review if you liked! I don't accept flames. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Yeah. . . this chapter is short, I know. And I was mean to Reid. Kinda. Depends how ya look at it, really. **

Elvenlaughter- **Just a warning, you may not wanna read this. . . . *nervous laughter***

**Disclaimer: I, uh, don't own. Trust me, here. **

Morgan jerks to a halt in front of the doors Reid had walked through over half an hour ago. Something wasn't right. He rests a hand on his gun and jogs back over to Hotch and Rossi. At the determined look on his face, JJ and Blake stop talking and hurry to shadow him.

"Hotch," Morgan calls, coming to a stop in front of him. "Look, I know what you said, and I understand. But Reid's been in there for thirty minutes. He should've talked her down already, he should be done and out here! What if we wait too long and he's hurt? What if he's up there right now, hurt or even - " Like before, Morgan stopped himself. "Hotch, I can't stand _not knowing _anymore."

Hotch studies him closely, his expression stern but his eyes showing his inner conflict. Despite his detached actions and words, he didn't want anything to happen to the youngest of his team any more than Morgan did.

"Alright," he relents. "It has been a while." Only then did his face reveal the worry that was tinged in his voice. "But we'll give him ten more minutes before - "

He was cut off by a loud gunshot ringing through the air. Morgan immediately tenses and spins around, extracting his gun in a fluid motion. "Hotch," he says harshly.

"Go! All of you - "

Once again, Hotch is cut off by another gunshot. This time, Morgan doesn't wait for an order. He smashes through the door and into the building, the rest of the team on his heels.

* * *

I didn't even feel the pain. Not really. I hadn't even realized the bullet had hit me until I fell to the floor. My sight goes blurry and I can't focus. I feel detached - almost like floating.

It's not until I sense another body land beside me that I remember how to use my eyes again.

It's difficult, but I manage to turn my head to the side to get a better look. Time seems to be going in slow motion. I can see Maeve sprawled out beside me, and my gaze rakes over the rapidly growing red stain on her shirt before traveling up to her face. She's looking right back at me. Her mouth curves up in a weak smile.

_"FBI! Put your weapon on the ground! Do it now!"_

Somewhere in the back of my brain I make the connection with the voice to Rossi. They must have heard the gunshots. Too late, though. I know this, but I can't bring up the feeling of panic - or pain - when Maeve is smiling at me.

She has the most beautiful smile. It makes the world around us unimportant.

_"Reid? Reid, can you hear me?"_

I think about answering Hotch, but then Maeve mouths my name and he slips from my mind. It's not important. Nothing he can do will help the inevitable. I can feel my life slipping away, yet there is still no pain. Just myself. And Maeve.

_"Reid, c'mon, man. Stay with me! Help's almost here, just hang on alright? Diane's dead, she killed herself when we came up. You and Maeve are both safe, and you're gonna be alright, just stay with me."_

Morgan's lying, we won't be alright. But it doesn't matter. I don't care anymore. Despite the fact that Morgan and Hotch are leaning over me, pressing down on my chest to stop the bleeding, I don't - _can't _- take my eyes away from Maeve. I'm lost in her eyes; those beautiful blue eyes that seem to have no end. I've been waiting months to see these eyes, and I'm not about to look away from them. And I seem to have the same effect on her - she ignores Blake and Rossi leaning over her, seemingly content to commit my features to her memory, as I am doing with her.

_"Spence? Spence, can you hear me? Don't do this Spencer, think of Garcia. She'll kill us if we let you die on us. Don't do this to the team, or - What about your mom? You have to stick around for your mom, don't you?"_

I didn't even realize JJ was there until she spoke. She sounds like she's crying. Her words make sense, but it makes more sense to stay with Maeve. Garcia will be fine. She'll have the team to help her, just like they'll all help each other. As for my mom. . . I have to trust that she'll be well cared for, and that the news will be delivered gently, on one of her good days. Hotch will do that. He'll make sure she's okay. I trust him enough to believe he'll do that for me.

Maeve drags up her hand so that it rests in between us, in a pool of blood - to whom it belongs to I'm not sure. With a great deal of difficulty, I slide my hand up against the floor, ignoring JJ when she tries to reach for it, and I rest it next to Maeve's.

We twine our fingers together and I fight to give her a smile. I'm not sure how successful I am, but with the last of her strength, she squeezes my fingers in an almost reassuring way. This rescue mission has in no way gone according to plan, but at least I finally got to meet her, got to see who Maeve truly is - was.

I feel a faint flash of worry - had she been disappointed? - but it's quickly soothed. There's still a smile on her face, though it's getting fainter every second, and it comforts me enough to remedy my fears.

It's hard to breathe now. I can almost feel the pain, but all I need to do is look into Maeve's now dimming eyes to feel better. If I have to die, at least I can die with her. My other hand is being gripped tightly, nails digging into my palm and I know it's JJ. I also know that Morgan is the one who's pressing down on my gunshot wound, demanding for me to stay awake - _please, pretty boy, stay awake_ - but I can't make sense out his words anymore than I can make out Hotch's as he presses two fingers to my neck.

My vision grows blurry, but out of the corner of my eye I can see Blake cry. Rossi is there too, the both of them having left Maeve's side, deeming it too late to save her. Rossi is saying something to Blake and JJ, and I can feel his hand on my shoulder. It's odd, but I can't focus enough to care.

As the world around me slips into darkness, all I can feel is Maeve's hand in mine.

With my last breath I utter something I've been wanting to say to Maeve for a while.

_I love you, too._

**You know what's annoying? I wrote this in the hopes of getting the 'what ifs. . .' out of my head for that episode, but now I have 'what ifs. . .' for my OWN story. Ugh. Hey, maybe I'll write an alternate ending chapter. . . That actually sounds appealing. Would any of you read it?**

**Listen, if you liked this, or at least vaguely enjoyed it, please leave a review. It just makes my day. **

**I would even appreciate favorites! Not that I'm pressuring you or anything. . . **


	3. ALTERNATIVE

**Yay! The alternate ending! Finally, right? I know it took ages, and for that I apologize, but after Garcia arrives I just sort of. . . didn't know where else to go. The ending's kinda lame, but all romance-y stories (though this can't really classify!) have sappy, lame endings! In my opinion, anyway. . .**

**Disclaimer: Ha! In your faces! I own this ending! HA! But, no, I own nothing else. *sob***

Morgan falters to a halt in front of the doors Reid had walked through over half an hour ago. This waiting made him uneasy, and the not knowing put him on edge. He rests a hand on his gun and jogs back over to Hotch and Rossi. At the strained look on his face, JJ and Blake stop talking and hurry to shadow him.

"Hotch," Morgan calls, coming to a stop in front of him. "Look, I know what you said, and I understand. But Reid's been in there for thirty minutes. He should've talked her down already, he should be done and out here! What if we wait too long and he's hurt? What if he's up there right now, hurt or even - " Like before, Morgan stops himself. "Hotch, I can't stand _not knowing _anymore."

Hotch studies him closely, his expression stern but his eyes showing his inner conflict. Despite his detached actions and words, he doesn't want anything to happen to the youngest of his team any more than Morgan does.

"Alright," he relents. "It has been a while." Only then does his face reveal the worry that is tinged in his voice. "But we'll give him ten more minutes before - "

He is cut off by a loud gunshot ringing through the air. Morgan immediately tenses and spins around, extracting his gun in a fluid motion. "Hotch," he says harshly.

"Move! Morgan, Blake - "

But Morgan doesn't wait for Hotch to finish his order. He barrels through the door and rushes in, barely aware of his teammates' presence behind him.

* * *

I fall to my knees, clutching my stomach. Blood seeps through my fingers, and I bite back a groan of pain. Maeve gasps shakily and drops beside me, keeping a hand on my shoulder the entire time.

I turn my head to give her a reassuring smile, but it ends up as more of a grimace. She looks worried, and I want nothing more than to take that frantic look out of her eyes, but my gaze is ripped back up to Diane when she lifts the gun again.

"You can change your mind, you know," she says, her voice trembling. She's on the verge of a psychotic break and I know the only reason she didn't kill me straight away is because her hands were shaking too much to properly aim. "You can still walk out of here alive. All you have to do is leave her."

I look her dead in the eye, something I don't usually do. "I willingly took this bullet for her. I'd do it again. I'm not leaving."

Maeve tightens her hold on my shoulder and brushes a light hand against my arm before standing up unsteadily. I turn my attention back to her and unwrap one of my arms from my stomach to reach for her.

"You don't have to kill him," she says quickly, not quite looking Diane full on. "You can keep him alive. I'll still have to live knowing that - that it's my. . . that's it my fault he's hurt." Her voice wavers, but her stance doesn't.

Something changes in Diane's expression, but before anything can be done, we all hear the thundering of footsteps.

Morgan comes in first, with Hotch hot on his heels. They both immediately focus their guns on Diane while the others filter in.

"FBI, put down your weapon!" Morgan demands, his eyes quickly flitting over to myself and Maeve. I sigh in relief and drop the hand that is reaching for Maeve, and she instantly notices. Her expression fills with concern and she sinks back down to my side, lying her hands on mine over the gunshot wound.

JJ and Blake hurry over, putting away their guns while Rossi joins Hotch and Morgan. JJ kneels on my other side, turning to shout for a paramedic. Blake turns to Maeve, laying a hand on her shoulder and speaking gently, but Maeve ignores her, staying focussed on me.

The women are all so caught up with my injury that I'm the only one of our little huddle that notices when Diane dons a serene expression. She stops crying and relaxes, like she's reached inner peace. Morgan, Hotch, and Rossi lower their weapons, Hotch and Rossi preparing to cuff her. But Diane raises the gun again, this time to her own head. With barely any warning, she pulls the trigger.

Maeve jumps at the sound, spinning around with wide eyes. I rest trembling fingers on her hand in a comforting manner, but then Morgan is there with a paramedic and they make me stand upright and are helping me make my way out of the building.

Once outside, Blake and Rossi lead Maeve over to another paramedic, far away from me. I lose sight of her as I'm loaded into an ambulance, Morgan staying by my side, talking to me the whole time. Despite his urging to stay awake, my head falls to the gurney and the world goes dark.

* * *

Morgan taps his foot in quick succession as he sits in the plastic chair in the waiting room. He rests his elbows on his knees and hangs his head, his only movement being his foot and shaking leg.

The majority of the team is there - Garcia having promised to arrive within ten minutes, and Reid still in surgery. Only Hotch and Rossi are standing, both talking over the coffee machine. It doesn't take a profiler to see Hotch's tense stance, or Rossi's usually well-concealed impatience.

JJ and Blake are sitting across from Morgan, JJ having red-rimmed eyes and trembling hands while Blake holds her head in her hands.

Everybody notices when a commotion arouses at the front desk, and five heads snap up and turn in that direction.

". . . no, you listen to _me_! I _am _his family, and I need to know if he's okay! So you need to tell me _right now _whether he's. . . "

With a slight smile, Morgan stands from his chair and quickly strides around the corner to the front desk, smile growing as he takes in the sight of a frazzled Garcia arguing with a scared receptionist.

"Babygirl," he calls, and when Garcia turns away the receptionist sends him a grateful look.

"Derek!" Garcia exclaims, hurrying over, her high heels making loud clicking sounds. "Is Reid alright? All JJ said over the phone was that he was hurt, and that he was shot while saving Maeve, but she was crying and I was worried, and then no one was answering their phones and I thought - "

"Hey, hey," Morgan interrupts, resting a hand on her shoulder and gently directing her to the waiting room. "I'm sorry, but we're not allowed to keep our phones on in here. We haven't heard anything on Reid yet, but he should be leaving surgery soon. Just calm down, alright?"

Garcia sucks in a shaky breath and bobs her head, sinking into a chair beside JJ, who lightly rests a hand on her's and gives her a small smile.

Morgan lands into a chair near them once more, leaning his head against wall and resuming the tapping of his foot. No one has any idea of how long they remain like this, but they are interrupted by a quiet presence that none the less attracts their attention.

Maeve stands almost awkwardly near the entrance, hugging her elbows and avoiding their eyes. Hotch takes a step closer, donning his professional mask.

"Ms Donovan," he starts, but she shakes her head and finally meets his eyes.

"Maeve," she corrects him lightly. "Call me Maeve."

"Maeve," Hotch repeats slowly, "I don't believe we've had the honor of meeting you."

Morgan pushes out of the chair again, an action soon mirrored by JJ, Garcia, and Blake. All three of them move over to where Rossi now stands with Hotch, opposite of Maeve. Garcia's the first to step forward and offer her hand, giving a smile that every one but those close to her would believe genuine.

"Hi," she says brightly, hand extended. "I'm Penelope Garcia, I work with Rei - Spencer. I work with Spencer."

Maeve nods and gives a tentative smile of her own, accepting the offered hand and shaking it. "Spencer's told me about you," she reveals. "He says you always have candy for him in your office, which is full of fluffy pens and overstuffed toys."

Garcia flushes, looking lost. "Oh, well, I, uh. . . He likes lollipops. So I always have a stash of. . . lollipops," she finishes lamely.

Maeve smiles fully this time. "I'll keep that in mind," she says lightly. Then her face falls and she stares at the floor again.

JJ quickly intervenes, introducing herself and everyone else, before offering a seat to Maeve. She takes it quietly and every one else follows suit. They lapse into silence for a moment, but Garcia is quick to put a stop to it.

"So, you seem to know a lot about us," she says, sounding only minimally strained, "yet we haven't heard a lot about you."

Maeve snaps her head up in surprise, then self-consciously tugs on her ponytail. "Oh, yes. I was curious about your work at the BAU, and Spencer supplied numerous interesting facts. All of you were mentioned several times when he would be telling me about a funny thing that happened, or a once in a lifetime occurrence. I would ask about you, and he'd be more than happy to tell me."

"I hope it was all good," Morgan laughs.

Maeve smiles wryly. "That depends on your definition of 'good'."

Morgan shakes his head. "I like her already," he says to Garcia. "She has a sense of humor. It'll be good for Reid. Maybe he'll learn something."

Despite the tense atmosphere, Garcia laughs. "Reid, learn humor? I don't think so, stud muffin. He may be a magnet for facts, statistics, and pretty much everything else, but comedy just flies over his head."

Maeve observes them oddly, and Morgan raises an eyebrow at her, as if to say 'What?'. She bites her lip before answering. "I never believed Spencer when he told me that you two had endless nicknames for each other, and shamelessly flirted all the time. I now know that I shall never doubt him again."

JJ snorts. "We learned that _long _ago. I questioned a statistic of his one time. . . it wasn't pretty. He started looking up facts and proof and after that, I learned to just shut up, smile, and say 'Yes, Spence. Of course, Spence.'"

"So, how did you two get to know each other?" Rossi intervenes. "Reid told us the basics, but I think I speak for all of us when I say we want all the details."

He got nods of agreement throughout the waiting room and every head turns to Maeve, who looks considerate.

"Well, I had read a few of Spencer's articles and other writings, and was intrigued. So I wrote to him about his papers and his research. After a while, he told me about his headaches and asked if I knew anything that might help. He sent me his brain scans to look over, and eventually I suggested a treatment for him. He said it worked and that he hadn't had headaches since he did what I suggested, and after that we just kept talking. We found out several things we had in common, and progressed from letter writing to phone calls. He would call me every Sunday from a different payphone, then hang up and wait for me to call back."

"That's. . . different," Rossi says mildly. "And. . . you never met face-to-face? Before all of this, I mean."

Maeve shakes her head. "We were supposed to meet for a first date a few weeks back, but Spencer called me to say that he thought my. . . stalker was there. Guess we missed that for nothing."

Maeve grows quiet as everyone else is severely brought back to reality. "Have you heard anything on him yet?" she asks suddenly. "I know he was brought into surgery, but have you heard how he's doing?"

Hotch shakes his head. "Not yet," he says gently. "But it can't be too long now."

As if on cue, a doctor chooses that moment to walk into the waiting room and call out: "Spencer Reid?"

* * *

The world is spinning and out of focus when I finally manage to open my eyes. I snap them back shut again quickly, waiting until the bright spots fade from my eyelids to open them again. My surroundings become clear quickly, and I find myself squinting up at a closer-than-originally-thought visitor. I yelp and push away, wincing as the movement causes a pang of pain in my chest and stomach.

The visitor hastily backs away, and I'm finally able to identify them.

"Maeve," I whisper, a smile sneaking its way onto my face.

She smiles back, and only then do I realize that she has my hand in her's. "Your team's outside," she says quietly. "They wanted to come in, but the doctor said it would probably be best if there was only one person in the room when you woke up. They said I should go in, but if you want Agent Morgan, or even Agent Jareau - "

I wave away her worries. "I don't want anyone else, not yet," I breathe. "I prefer you being in here anyway."

Maeve smiles and her amazing blue eyes twinkle as she leans closer. "They're waiting outside," she whispers, only an inch away from me.

"Let them wait."

Then we are kissing, and it's the most amazing thing I've ever experienced. We soon forget the thoughts of my team waiting outside for the okay to come in and fuss over me. We forget everything.

In this moment it's just us, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

**Told ya it was a lame ending! Anyway, I gotta go - my laptop's almost outta power. :( Please review! But ya don't have to. It's appreciated, though. :)**


End file.
